My Personal Space

Tag! Your turn

I had no intention of updating my blog until i go back to malaysia.. But i jus realised something a very childish idiot did.. All i wanna say is tat u are really an idiot. U win dy.. i never really did wan to curse anybody b4.. well, watever i write here is not important.. cos i doubt tat person will even read my blog. Go to hell, u idiot. But i still wanna thank u. Thanks for letting me realise wat an idiot i have been. Thanks for letting me know u are so @#@$ childish.

I have just lost a friend..

A friend who gave me support when i was feeling down,

a friend who I have never even met,

a friend who made me look forward to checking my mails,

a friend who I have come to trust and confide in although we have only known each others for a mere few months..

If u are reading this, I just wanna say tat i won’t forget u and i wish u all the best.. Good luck for ur exams.. Thanks for everything.. I really appreciate it.. Goodbye..

Argh.. I really hate myself for being that way.. I tend to overreact and freak out and do lots of complaining when there seems to be too many things that needs to be done.. what’s worse is that sometimes the ‘many things’ i need to do isn’t that much at all.. haiy.. i really wonder why i am that useless and that incapable of handling stress and things.. Impending deadlines never fail to get me down.. That day, there really wasn’t much for me to do.. yet, i freaked out big time.. and ya ya.. i admit, i was a big, overgrown whining baby that day.. I am really in need of time management and perhaps a little more confidence in myself.. It didn’t take me much time to finish all the things i need to do.. And yet, my lack of self-confidence and time management made me so irritable and pek cek for so many hours.. Oh ya, i left out something important too.. I am also in desperate need for organisation skills.. if i were a little more organised, i wouldn’t have freaked out so majorly that day..  I would like to apologise to all the people who i have annoyed that day when i was in the freaked out state.. i’ll try not to be like that next time.. sorry ya..

I truly do not understand myself.. I’m a 100% certified weirdo.. sometimes i really do not understand the things i do, the way i think, speak and feel..

I hate the mood swings i feel sometimes..

I hate the sheer stupidity of my actions..

i hate it when i speak before i think, kicking myself afterwards never really made me feel any better..

i hate it when i change my mind back and forth so fast that even i get amazed by it..

i hate my indecisiveness, i never seem to be able to make up my mind.

i’m really a weirdo.. sometimes i really hate to be alone but when people approach me, all i wanna do is to be alone…

sometimes i get very defensive when i hear some comments but i still like to ask about the many things i’m curious about.

sometimes i’d continue asking about things although i know that it’ll hurt me if i know the truth..

sometimes i’m so overly positive, overly perky that nobody could stand me but sometimes i act like the world’s coming to an end.

sometimes i act as a very strong person although all i wanna do is cry my heart out..

sometimes i am very strong although i may not seem so..

sometimes i cry my heart out for little little things or for no apparent reason at all..

sometimes i do not cry at all for things that really scarred me for life..

sometimes i get very happy with the little little things that happen to me, little little things people do for me..

sometimes i have very high expectations of the people around me, nothing they do seems to satisfy me..

sometimes i’m very easily satisfied, just a simple greeting from the people around me makes me very happpy..

sometimes jus a simple word or phrase from the people i care about can make or break my day..

so, in conclusion, i’m really a weirdo.. even i don’t understand myself.. i don’t even know why i have the sudden inspiration to write this.. so, yeah yeah, i admit. i’m a weirdo.. haha..

Yeah well… I’m so dead.. My trials totally sucks.. Haha.. I’m jus a few steps away from my newly-dugged grave.. But, here i am, sitting down and complaining about my results.. Haha… before i continue, i would like to say that this blog is a place where i would probably whine and complain and just share my experiences.. So, if you cannot stand a whining overgrown baby, please do not read on.. Don’t say i didn’t warn you.. ok, where was i? Ya, complaining about the totally disappointing results… Haha… You’re probably thinking,  "Wouldn’t it be much more practical to study right now??" Yeah well, i just like complaining.. Haha.. got tired of complaining dy.. So, i guess i’ll stop here.. Yup, i admit it, this blog is 100% palia.. so, wat? as long as i have a place to vent my frustrations, it doesn’t matter what others think about me.. Good luck and jia you to all my friends who are taking stpm exams this year…